Married Ladies, What advice do you have for women planning to marry. (only serious answers please)?

Communicate, communicate, communicate! You're engaged?


Talk about anything and everything that's important to both of you regarding marriage: money, kids, home, work... You can't know exactly how the marriage will be until you're in it, but if you know how you each feel about things like: money (spender vs. saver,etc.), how many kids you each want or none. You have an idea of what you're ';getting into'; so to speak. Talk about what is important (and even not so important!) And keep talking!


Been married 17 years and when we aren't communicating well things aren't as good as they should be, but when we are, it's so great!Married Ladies, What advice do you have for women planning to marry. (only serious answers please)?
*It's ok to go to bed angry - not all problems will and should be resolved before bed. Agree to come to a truce to discuss it tomorrow and go to bed.


*Sometimes you just have to let those little annoying things he does - go. The more you complain about them, the more stressed out you will become.


*Don't be afraid to ask him to help out more - start out good habits in the early part of marriage - even ';assign'; chores. Trust me - establish this early on and if you're lucky, he might catch on 1/2 way through the marriage!


*Set aside some emergency $, you never know what might come up.


*Discuss NOW before marrying your views / opinions on religion, children, discipline, etc.


*Make a date night - once every 2 weeks or once a month or something - to get out, just the 2 of you and ENJOY each other!!!


*Give him all your love and show it to him every day!Married Ladies, What advice do you have for women planning to marry. (only serious answers please)?
Don't expect a fairy-tale. Advice my grandma gave me when I married: Marriage is the hardest thing you will ever have to do. It takes alot of determination, compromise, and love to make it last


She has been married for 50+years.


Oh yeah, and don't EVER forget your vows...live by them every day.
Don't try to change him, is the first one that came to my mind. But also don't go to bed angry. I live my this one, becuase it causes a bad nights sleep. I once stayed up all night banging pots and pans because I refused to go to bed angry and he wanted to get some sleep. Guess who got an apology? :)
Don't try to change him, be 100% certain and listen to your doubts. Listen to what others say about him. Sometimes love really does blind us and its key to have some really unbiased opinions so you can make a good choice. Make sure you have the same views on key issues as the ';butterflies in your stomach'; in love feeling comes and goes. At that point, its important to like, as well as love this person. Other than that, take your time. This is a HUGE decision
make sure he is the one....the one you would do anything for, do anything with, love no matter what happens ( ie: fighting crying etc) if you can answer ';yes'; to all of these plus more then you have the man of your dreams.
You have to be very patient. Most of the time the first year or two is known as the honeymoon period. In my case I have been with my husband for seven years and I am still in that phase. We fight and argue don't get me wrong. I still feel for him like I did when we first got married. If anyone says it doesn't take work they are lying to you and their selves. But every case is different. Good luck.
My advise is you are sure that you want to get married. Often people feel like they are expected to get married. Marry a friend. Marry someone that you can talk to for hour, some one that you truly enjoy being around them. There will be a lot of compromise needed to make a marriage work. Don't allow your self to do all the compromising and don't make him do it either. There will be times that the other person aggravates you. During those times remember that you love him, and explain to him as calmly as you can what is aggravating you. Don't expect him to change any of his habits. Love him for who he is, not what you would like him to be. Make sure that you both agree on big issues, such as children and where you guys want to live. The most important thing is to love and respect your husband. Never let him think you are taking him for granted. No matter how long you have been married have a date night each week. Get all dolled up for your man, and let him know how much you care about him. Good luck.
Dont...j/k its not that bad. But be prepared because its not easy and people will tell you that so much that you will get sick of hearing it but its so true. People also say that it gets easier after a year.......not true!! Its always hard. Just be prepared to stick with it no matter what and be prepared to compromise. Congratulations and good luck :)
You CANNOT change a man.





He can only change if he wants to.





Women want and need ';love';, men want and need, ';respect';...respect him and admire him.........
Be honest with him from the start, dont hide anything, it only comes back 10x worse...





Be there for him, even when you dont want to do something... do it for him, he will remember and he will do something in return...
make sure this is what u want.. being married is not easy... trust me. remember its for better or worse... u will have ur fights and arguments.. but u will be able to work them out... never go to bed mad... tell him every day u love him... u will be fine.... good luck...
Being married moved the focus of your life from yourself to your family. If you cannot accept that, don't get married.
Know that you both will go through many phases of life and change with time. It's actually wonderful to go through life with someone you love, but it can be scary sometimes too. Just keep communicating and be willing to compromise. In marriage, it's is better to bend than to break - however, he needs to have the same willingness.





I'm also a fan of never going to bed angry, but I know for some it's better to get some sleep and deal with an issue later, once both have had a chance to cool off.
Make sure you've given yourself time in life to grow, learn who YOU are, what you want %26amp; what you'll put up with before saying ';I do.';





Take time to REALLY understand the level of commitment you're making.





Put as much time %26amp; effort into preparing for MARRIAGE as you do preparing for the wedding. The marriage is what is so important yet many brides to be get caught up in planning the wedding.





In my opinion, there are certain fundamental things you have to see eye to eye on or you're in for a rocky road. Kids, finances, religion, career, etc are all examples. Many people think that lovey dovey feeling you have will carry you through a marriage. Here's an example: Say you tend to be a spender %26amp; he's a saver. That's fine but you need to sit down %26amp; TALK about how you're going to confront that issue. Will he be in charge of setting a budget, paying bills, etc? Or will you? Will you merge all financials or keep some things separate? These are all important things to talk about because assuming you agree is stupid.





LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH. If I could tell engaged couples one thing, it would be that. People get so caught up in the lovey dovey feelings they have for each other. Of course, that's essential %26amp; such an important ingredient but it's only ONE ingredient. Healthy marriage is about communication, friendship, and a dedication to being married. My mother told me one time ';there were times in our marriage that the only thing making me stay was a piece of paper. You DECIDE to keep that commitment every day even through rough times.'; I was shocked when I heard that because my parents are wonderful examples of a great marriage. They've been married close to 40 years %26amp; still hold hands, still joke around %26amp; are still very much in love. So, if THEY can go through those rough times, then I knew anyone could. Sometimes the only thing that keeps you from leaving will be that piece of paper %26amp; the strength to keep your commitment.





My final piece of advice: You will have a happy, healthy marriage if you BOTH wake up every morning thinking ';what can I do for my spouse today to let him or her know they are loved %26amp; appreciated?'; I promise you....if you both wake up every morning with that goal %26amp; that mentality, then you won't go wrong. Marriage is about 2 people committing to be there for each other, to love one another every day %26amp; show it so never forget that.
When you have a argument don't bring friends or either side of the family into it. It's between you and your husband and if you run to your family every time you have a fight it will cause more problems.





In a marriage you have to give and take.





Try not to sweat the small stuff.





Don't fight dirty
My grandmother told me this right before I got married.





';Never go to bed angry, you never know what tomorrow may bring.';
Learn to communitcate effectively without this there is no help for anything
Planning to marry- Congratulations!


My best advise (having been married for 13 years).





My best advise- Respect your best friend! this is after all the person you should be marrying and if you respect him it will come back to you with double effort. If you praise him both publicly and privately he will appreciate it and will do the same. Marraige is not a jail, it is not an area of domination. It is a partnership. You are to work through, enjoy and plan life together. You will be holding up your partner some days and he will be holding up you on other days. The vows are not just words there will be bettter and worse, there will be sickness and health. Oh yeah and one more quick peice of advise. Take the side of the bed that is furthest from the door. Eventually little people will be coming in during the night and won't it be nice that dad is the closest???Hee hee...





Michele
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